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Life: Now

by Ben Hughes

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1.
9 02:48
don't you remember the words of encouragement you wrote me when I was younger, and feeling bent. please just never forget you were the strongest one, way back when I was younger and feeling bent. thank you for thinking of me you reached down and grabbed me off my knees. I had a blue note written front and back, taped to my wall from you. sometimes I wish I could give it back, because now, I'm stronger than you. thank you for thinking of me you reached down and grabbed me off my knees.
2.
Bluejay 02:38
see there's this bluejay up in a tree making a nest, feeding his whole family. he wakes up daily, and flies to work he brings home dinner, and doubts what he does every step of the way. now, on an island in the middle of Philly, there sits an old man on the side of a building. he wakes up daily, and plays the blues for people in their suits he eats no dinner, and doubts what he does every step of the way. what are you missing? with no fate and no destiny everything left up to chance and only the lucky are fulfilled. see there's this bluejay his nest is falling through and there's that old man winter's coming soon.
3.
Life: Now 03:46
all these blank spaces cry lonely they want to be thought of, they want to be cared for yes, they have an interesting shell but if they don't realize someone loves their insides then what are they worth? all these spaces disappear and fade to dotted lines, then left behind. i could once remember the features of my fallen friends but life, i mean, society keeps us so busy, we forget the sun will shine from time to time, and all together we'll sing this song.
4.
Stones 02:25
there's no need to worry this is how life goes parents drop us in to this world just like stones into a pond the ripples are our actions and they reach further than we can see and in the end they flatten out as we hit the bottom. there's no need to worry this is how life goes parents drop us in to this world just like stones. i'm somewhere in between the surface and the end i watch all the other stones falling down and look up to feel pain when our waves collide. feel pain when our waves collide. we are just like stones we'll collide (this is how life goes.)
5.
Benjamin 02:49
here we go again right in the same situation I thought I'd never be in again I feel for you Benjamin I read what you wrote, and feel the same way. you're not so dissonant and alone you're just not planted in the right soil your heart beats and pulls apart over things that are too much to handle. misunderstood and lonely, but don't feel alone. don't feel alone, sing a song no matter how much you just want to lie in darkness you're ok, you're just fine, anyone would struggle through these times. cry if you have to but don't be alone your mother she loves, your father he cares more than you'll ever know. misunderstood and lonely, but don't feel alone.
6.
1979 02:10
a crop duster flies passed a sunset in 1979 it looks like fall in the photograph and while holding that frame, Drew longs for the old days. don't surrender your happiness for the cost of comparison. a ticket stub on his desk for every adventure attended memories fall in the photograph and while sitting alone he thinks of how 10 years from now will become yesterday. don't surrender your happiness for the cost of comparison. every day brings new tides, and every season brings new life.
7.
84 03:34
he wakes up and falls asleep again dreams dreamy dreams and then up again to the heavens pouring down those saints are bawling their eyes out. oh, they miss their lost friends and families. off the tiles in the shower he sings a song that cries it's hard to try when you don't see what it's worth but out the door he goes anyway to embrace those heavenly tears that still haven't got what they're crying for after all those times. the day is running away, and my friend is only slowly walking after it. when days lap us in the race of life, we can never catch up. slowly, walking with his eyes closed he dreams mid-day of where he'd like to be it's almost as good, but not really it's just better than right here. there's a crowd in front, singing the song he wrote back on the 12th of April, 2007 it feels good to be in this imaginary land.
8.
Hope 02:46
hope turned thinner than the air in inhale and flowed out of the faucets, vents and windows but it would have to kill me to permanently escape cause on it's side rests peace and i would fight to be at ease. this is my fight, I will win and win alone. hope belongs in my chest I want to be bigger than this escape from the inside. the more I say I shouldn't the less I actually don't I'm burning a hole in my pocket two nickels, two dimes and minus the 0 and I would fight to be at ease. this is my fight, I will win and win alone. hope belongs in my chest I want to be bigger than this escape from the inside.
9.
Fog 02:43
laying in bed on these cold, lonely mornings the sun never reaches my dark eyes I'll lie here for hours, in bed like a flower but I'd rather be up in the sky looking down at those people. I'd rise above this fog that tries to kill me when I'm driving at night. rabbits dodge tires like squirrels on phone wires the moon never reaches my wide eyes I'd like to watch the oldest rivalry but the cloud in my face always prohibits me from seeing anything at all. I'll rise above this fog that tries to kill me when I'm driving at night. when we get there I will I will lavish my love on you are the only one more time is burning me I can't see what's in front of me.
10.
God 03:36
if God's my father, then I'm his bastard I never met him, though he knew me he just made me and left me. I miss God my father when I was just dirt he put breath into me and left me like he never knew me. but at least we're not alone we're all bastards in this world my father never taught me wrong from right even I had to write his word even I had to build his church. Jesus tried to make up for his Father's absence but how can I ever learn to trust again? then he died, came back to life, flew up in to the sky said there'd be a holy ghost in his place well, I've never seen that ghost. the apple fell right next to the tree cause like his Father he left me and now we're left here trying to survive trying to make sense of life who wrote the scriptures? who built the cross? who organized religion? who's telling us we're all wrong? who's laughing up there with all the answer? who made the God we serve? guess it was just us.

about

Life: Now is a collection of previously unreleased songs recorded with my old band, A Little Affair. Of the A Little Affair b-sides taken from my stock piled solo albums, these are my ten favorite.

My mind was expanding from college lectures. Everything that I was holding onto was stripped away and I was left with one Socratic belief: I know that I know nothing. I was waking up, I was rebuilding my belief system, and during this time I yearned for universal truths.

The earlier songs like 84 and Fog focused on my own struggles and other details from my life. Then after some encouraging words from a friend, I wrote Hope:

"This is my fight/I will win and win alone/Hope belongs in my chest/I want to be bigger than this/escape from the inside."

As I climbed out of my introverted way of thinking, reciprocal aspects of life started becoming a major inspiration for me. The way I loved people, the way they loved me, the encouragement given and received and so on...

This togetherness helped me to start writing from a perspective that was more than just my own.

"The sun will shine from time to time & all together we'll sing this song."
_____________________

Press on the album from WXPN's The Key!
thekey.xpn.org/2015/08/27/ben-hughes-august/

thekey.xpn.org/2015/08/29/best-mp3s-ben-hughes/#more-171677

Tracks 1-5 & 10 were recorded during pre-production for A Little Affair's self titled album. alittleaffair.bandcamp.com

Tracks 6-9 were recorded in separate sessions and laid the foundation for the band.

credits

released August 26, 2015

Ben Hughes - vocals, guitar, organ, synthesizer, piano & drums.
Ryan Buzby - drums, guitar, synthesizer, vocals & percussion.
Tom Cochran - bass.
_____________________

Produced by Ben Hughes & Ryan Buzby.
Recorded at Ryan's parent's house from 2007-2010*
Engineered by Ryan Buzby, Ben Hughes & Adam Staniszewski.
Mixed & Mastered by Ryan Buzby.
All music performed by Ben Hughes, Ryan Buzby & Tom Cochran**
All songs written by Ben Hughes (Benjamin Hughes ASCAP).

*1979 & Fog recorded in Studio A at Drexel.
**Drumline on "Benjamin" performed by Ben Hughes, Ryan Buzby, Josh Davis & Dan Elmer.

Photo by Jalil Sorrell.

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Ben Hughes New Jersey

"...channels musicians like Elliott Smith, Bright Eyes, and Sufjan Stevens, as on Hughes’ previous releases. But this record immediately calls to mind Pedro the Lion’s Control, with its deep-voiced chords and melodies, lyrical themes of corporate hell, and Hughes’ slurring voice. It could stand as a complimentary album to Control just as well as it stands on its own."

-Nick Tate, WXPN
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